"Because Being Nice Matters"

I'm only at 16 weeks and it's quite incredible the amount of insults I've already endured. Most of them are by unknowing or well intentioned people and chances are I've blurted out some blunders in my pre pregnancy time. Who knows. Let me just say this. Me being pregnant doesn't permit you or anyone else to make comments about my size, or allow you to inquire about personal things happening in my uterus.

I was told at 14 weeks after I had a large breakfast mind you that I was "big for 14 weeks". I wanted to respond with something vicious but opted not to since I was in a work environment which leads me to ask this....

Why the hell do I have to watch what I say, when no one else has to? Maybe if I bit your head off you will remember for the rest of your life to proceed with caution when making verbal observations of the pregnant woman in front of you.

Another hilarious thing I encounter pretty much daily is if I know the gender of our babe. If I did, I would have probably told you by now wouldn't I? In addition and maybe it's because I have mucho friends and family who have already birthed babies but I have known for some time that it takes a little while before you can tell if a fetus has a P or a V. If my doctor hasn't told me yet, then no, I don't know. I lack X Ray vision (which would be harmful to my babe if I did) and my crystal ball is currently broken so I'm at the mercy of time. Please forgive me. The moment I know my babes genitalia I will order a plane and have it fly around with a large banner.

There are a few people who I allow passes to, in other words people I won't want to kill for any comment they make for the most part. I can count them on my one hand. One of course is my mother. I took her to lunch the other day, mainly to appease her sudden need to see me all the time now that I'm pregnant. I love my mom and most of the time, she doesn't drive me nuts... pending the day so I was looking forward to it.

I take her to lunch in my small home town of Waterville. It's a town, 2 or 3 traffic lights max, surrounded by farms and corn fields. During lunch my mother and I are chatting about the baby to be. I should note, and if you know me then you know my mother is Deaf so our conversation is in American Sign Language. Since Waterville is not known for it's diversity in any way except maybe patterns of John Deere overalls the locals wear, it's a safe bet to assume no one in the place knows ASL except for my dear mother and I. Mother asks me how I'm feeling and asks me about my clothes and if I'm feeling ok. I should point out that ASL unlike English doesn't allow for beating around the bush which is perhaps why I prefer to communicate in ASL than English most of the time. I flat out tell my mother that my stomach is popping what feels like more and more each day and that on top of it, I'm at the mercy of my chest.. having to wear supportive sport bras and tanks with support under my clothes just to be comfortable.

To this my mother places her hands in front of her own chest, make the sign for growing breasts and points to me while looking at MY chest and yells.. yes YELLS the one word she has always been to pronounce so eloquently...

"SHIT!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone looks over in our direction. My mother is laughing with her head down and I raise my water glass and say "Cheers!" to smiling faces who realize that we are having a nice time (and maybe too that I am capable of hearing them talk so best keep their comments to themselves).

So unless you are my mother or one of the other few who have a pass... and if you are not sure if you are one of them, chances are ... you aren't..... Be kind and thoughtful when making your comments because chances are I can find something to say about you as well.

Cheers!!