The Baby Registry

I remember the first time I shopped at Babys R US for a baby registry. Actually, I remember the feeling of having shopped there for the first time and remember going for drinks immediately after. Because of that (the drinks) I cannot recall exactly who I shopped for but I remember feeling overwhelmed and shell shocked at the enormity of the store and the ridiculous things that a new little human being "needs". For me, it was stepping into foreign territory. Carefully going down each isle, checking the printed sheet for what the baby de jour was in need of in a sea of pinks, greens and blues and pictures of happy babes... their eyes following me where ever I went. I think that visit was one (of a few) reason(s) why I took great care in making sure I would not become pregnant until I was good and ready to do so. Thank you Michele! You are welcome, Michele!

Through out the years, I have attended numerous showers and there were even some I couldn't make it to. I say this with love and nothing but respect and adoration for the women who so thoughtfully invited me to be a part of a special event in their lives but I gotta be honest, I was never a big fan of the shower. Wine usually helped and it helped even more when I was drinking said wine with a fellow friend who like me was not interested in reproducing at all, what so ever. At 35 and only just some what recently coming down with baby fever, I have a bevy of lady friends who started pumping out their brood in their early 20's. Having no child, surrounded by people who had children and only talked about children then asked when you were going to have children or find a man to have children with simply wasn't a good time for me. The unwrapping of every.... single.... present.... with the ohhhs and the ahhhs... would only make me and if I was lucky, the only other non baby having friend there make eye contact, pour more wine in our glasses and exchange "that smile" (untranslatable and/or unnoticeable to anyone on baby island).... and now, ALAS.. it is my turn and I couldn't be more excited to cash in my ticket and head on over to that very island myself.

I was told by a few ladies to leave Joe home and do the registry by myself. Uh, Hi, have you met Joe? Leaving him home was never an option, for him anyways. It wasn't until he hogged the scanner for the entire visit that I almost wished I had left him home but to be honest, I probably would have dropped the scanner, booklet and complimentary bottle of water and ran for my life half way through the registry had he not been there. Joe said he wanted a part in what we were choosing for our daughter... and how does your heart not melt when the father of your unborn child says something like that to you. Honestly.

We arrive on a Sunday (we were excused from our usual Sunday dinner obligations) about Noonish and the store was I'd say "medium busy". The moment we walked in, Joe looked around and said "Wow, I didn't realize the store was this big!" Naturally I laugh at him because it was obvious at this point he had no idea what he was getting himself into. We sit at the desk with an associate to which Joe immediately starts charming "Hey, how are ya... and how are you doing today?" After I get the paperwork and allow them to become new friends, Joe snags the scanner leaving me to hold the booklet and pen and off we go. I had only told him I was looking forward to scanning items while making "pew pew" sounds about 50 times prior to our visit but apparently he had other plans for us. This actually worked out in my favor though. I had "THE LIST" and simply dictated what we needed and the scanner kept him occupied.

We started with the simple items first, the bedroom stuff and worked our way over to the most ridiculous wall of bottles and the other 400,000 random small items that apparently our child will need mental health therapy for should we not add them to our list. We made out (not literally) fairly well but after circling the store 3 times I was over it. My feet started to ache, I was getting hungry (which turns to hangry rather quick) and I just had enough. I need to step away, regroup, drink water, sit down and breathe my headache away. I asked Joe a few times "Ok, I think we are set, how about we go now?" Eventually he caved and we left. Thankfully he provided much needed comic relief (especially around the car seat and stroller isles) so I had no choice but to buy him dinner and a couple beers. Hell, I would have had a couple beers if weren't for that whole Fetal Alcohol thing.. but then again, this is the visit I rather remember most :) Registry? CHECK!

Moving on up... to the East Side....

Joe s parents live in East Syracuse as well as his brother, sister in law, nephews and an Aunt and Uncle all on one street ending in a cul de sac. Not together mind you, everyone has their own abode neatly tucked away in the suburban hills of manicured lawns, smiling neighbors who wave when you drive by surrounded by a serene quietness you do not experience when living basically in the middle of the city of Syracuse (as I type I can hear the lull of traffic, the murmur of motorcycles as Syracuse wakes up and heads into their day).

Months ago, I believe at the end of 2013 (pre prego) there was a house on that same very street that came up for sale. Joe with his parents and brother took a look at it and they brought up the idea of us moving out that way. Being non prego and loving the location of our home as well as the home itself we looked at each other like they had offered us to have our heads surgically removed and exchanged for the other. "Why in the world would we move from here" we thought. We live in the Sedgwick area of Syracuse. We have a 10 minute ride pending traffic to downtown or really anywhere in Syracuse. We have a pool in the backyard and our kitchen is huge and have the perfect house for a couple who likes to entertain. For me it's great because since I work everywhere I'm close to all of the major highways including the Thruway and every job is just a mere hop and a jump away. We have our places, our spots here.. Rileys, Shiftys, Lucky 7's, we like our neighbors. Why on EARTH would we possibly move?????

Then we became pregnant (sorry Mila Kunis I'm using the "we" are pregnant because I am.. if this is over your head, google it).

You start looking at your home to accommodate a new human being. Is it big enough? Is it safe? How many steps and stairs do we have? How many crimes have happened in our neighborhood? Oh, the city school district? The questions and concerns start piling up and your whole ideal as to what is best for you becomes what is best for your child. Will she exposed to crime in this neighborhood? How will being in the city school district affect her education? Will we have to get a gun (a discussion we actually had that was a huge RED FLAG), do we need to add more sensor lights around the house, is our security system adequate .. do we need video cameras, the list goes on and on.

Meanwhile the house that was for sale months ago still sits vacant and for sale.

A couple weeks ago prior to going to Sunday dinner (if you aren't aware of the Italian law of Sunday dinner, it's just that... at Joe's parents) the subject of the house was brought up again and this time Joe and I didn't look at each other with the same look 7 months ago. Instead, we stopped at the empty house and peered inside, walking around entertaining the notion of a possible move. By the time we arrived to his parents house (literally 2 houses down the street) we decided to pull the trigger and make an offer on the house.

Our offer was a respectable offer but not one we were confident was going to be approved. It wasn't. There was a counter offer by the owner of the house and then we countered his counter offer. Being that it was the July 4th weekend and we were planning to be out of town, we didn't expect word on the house until after we returned home and that's exactly what happened. I was on a job site about to use the ladies room and leave for the day when I get a text message to "call me when you can". I HATE it when Joe texts me that. My mind instantly goes "OMG, there was an accident" or "Do we need bread?" It lacks any sign of a good or bad reason to call. Yes, I've told Joe this. No, he doesn't get it. SO, I call him basically crossing my legs doing a dance in front of the bathroom door. It rings.... "Please don't be by the side of the road" is going through my head ... 'HEY!' (Joe).. Me: What's up? Joe: "Start packing! We got the house!"

When we both arrived home that day we just looked at each other like "YAYYY!!!" and "F@$!$#*K we have to move!?!?!?!" at the same time. This is actually happening. We are really having a baby. We are really moving out of a house we love. We are really making a ton of changes. We both really needed to sit down and start breathing. I probably would have poured myself a glass of wine or 3 if there wasn't that Fetal Alcohol Syndrome thing or the general notion of alcohol not being good for babies.

The following day we had an appointment to view the inside (Joe, again) and me for the first time. I know, right? Hey, I trust Joes instinct as well as what his family says. The stats and from what I saw on the outside and through the widows and pictures were that good for me to be on board is all I'm saying.

The viewing of the house proved them all right. (Thank you baby Jesus). A large family room similar to what we have now with high ceilings, sky lights and fans. 4 bedrooms. 2.5 baths with the 1/2 bath on the first floor (we don't have that now), closet space as in a walk in (amen), a large yard, we aren't crazy about the kitchen but could see the potential for making it our dream kitchen and the list goes on. The school district is ESM (good), walking distance to family (good), good neighborhood, we already know everyone who lives around there for the most part (including our immediate neighbors), 2 car garage attached to the house (baby + winter+ garage= happy mom), and overall? It just makes sense now as opposed to 7 months ago.

So it's on. Anyone looking to buy a lovely 3 bedroom home in Syracuse? :) Seriously, contact us if you are.

Updates! Growth! Big Plans!

It's been some time since my last blog update which should probably indicate that nothing too dramatic has been happening really. The baby is growing. I'm growing in all directions although I'm glad to say that at this point in time (I'll be eating my words in no time) have yet to tackle the ever so sexy and seductive look that is cankles. Let me bring everything current:

Baby & Me

We are at 26 weeks! Overall I feel great although as Emma grows (and everything else) my lower back is starting to pay the price. I weighed myself the other day and let's just say that if I wasn't pregnant I probably would have sat on my bathroom floor crying. Not that I have always maintained a physique that would qualify me for a body building contest (and no thank you, not my style anyways), I've always been active and tried to maintain a healthy tone (ish) body. Well, pregnancy is changing that some. I remain active but this growing on each end thing is something to seriously get used to and something to simply accept which I am. As a few friends say, 9 months to put it on, 9 months to take it off. What makes every pound and thicker part of me worth it all are the moments when I am laying still and not only can I feel Emma kick from the inside but from the outside with my hand over my belly AND I can see my stomach move as well.

Our last doctors appointment 3 weeks ago was the routine urine screen (good), weight (none of your business), and listening of the heart (a steady 143). This time I had Dr. Robert Pyke, one of the group of doctors in the practice. He explained their process... named "The Doc in the Box" and that at all times, one of the doctors are on call ready to attend to their patients needs, labor, etc. I asked Dr.Pyke his philosophy on C-Sections and I was relieved to hear that he will not perform elective C-Sections because they "weren't natural" and felt things should progress on their own. He supports my desire to have as little medical intervention as possible (unless we need it) and made a joke about his sister comparing childbirth to pushing out a bowling ball. That's when I knew we would get along just fine. Since all is well my next appointment is scheduled for next week, Tuesday I think where I get to have the lovely glucose exam.. drink that god awful liquid, have blood taken and the usual urine/weight check up as well. This next appointment is with Dr.Thompson and if you read my initial blog I have a feeling that this is "Dr.LongFingers". If so, I pray that Joe keeps his composure so that I do. Or the other way around.

What I'm Learning:

Slowing Down
So about that whole getting bigger thing. A couple weeks ago I worked a pretty full work week. My work also involves travel, sometimes I'm in the car up to 3 hours a day just going from job to job. I couldn't wait for my last job on that Friday. More so for my back, my mind and my desire to just lay down with my new and amazing body pillow (why I waited til pregnancy to have one, I have no idea). I simply cannot physically do what I'm used to doing and I need to remind myself of that every day.

Ice Cream
Give it to me now. Always have a supply in the freezer... and these days, a pint (or larger) never goes bad.

T.V
Avoid all shows depicting violence against women and children or shows with tragic pregnancies, miscarriages or abuse to animals as well. Not that I was ever a fan of watching these but just no. Cannot and will not do it.

Radar
Pregnancy and motherhood IS the cult I expected it was all along. The proof? Watch me and a pregnant woman walk past each other. Wanna know what happens? We give each other the smile and head nod similar to what I would expect fellow gang members to do as their greeting "Sup, yeah I know you had heartburn yesterday and you are fighting those cankles.. me too sister... me ... too". OR the woman with children who gives me that "Oh you are smiling and glowing now but wait until you can't get your kicking kid into the shopping cart and are covered in chocolate that you never had with you to begin with" look. Yeah, totally can read that off of some women. Truly a cult and I ... their newest member. Salud ladies!

Paranoia
"What if my daughter becomes a meth head?"
"What if she hates me?"
"What if she becomes a Republican?"

Fears that I have no reason to be fearful of at least now.... the strangest and most unrealistic things come to mind and all of a sudden it's all I can think about. Rational? Absolutely not. Funny when thinking back on it? Of course.

Joe
I gotta give him credit. He hugs me when I ask and has been so helpful with everything including his patience. I have read ... a lot of books about pregnancy and babies and watch shows and read articles and am a wee obsessive about this whole process because it's literally consuming every aspect of my life. Joe has the luxury of not noticing how big his ass is getting, not having the constant craving to eat pasta (even for breakfast), orknowing that most of last years summer clothes belong in a bin reserved for next year, etc. He doesn't feel the need to discuss it or touch my belly every time Emma moves. So, I'm attempting to not inundate him with "too much baby" which can be difficult at times especially when I'm waddling (that's right, I'm at that stage) all over the house with heartburn, getting kicked from the inside craving ice cream. I think of those women who are single mothers and go through pregnancy without the father of the child or in a relationship and I can't help but feel blessed. This isn't easy and Joe (along with my friends and family of course) has really been a rock for me especially at those times when I just want to cry and he says something so asinine that all I can do is laugh. I cannot image doing this without him.

Dresses
Yes please. I'd like to give props to the Old Navy Maternity line of clothes (thanks Mel and Melissa). I know women say "Oh god, pregnant during the summer... eesh" however, I beg to differ (so far). I prefer to wear dresses to begin with so knowing my summer, the majority will be spent in flowy dresses is perfectly fine by me. I think it would be a pain in the ass to be prego during the winter. The pants, the bundling up, the boots, the snow, the potential to slip and fall. I'll take a sweaty summer day in my dress and flip flops any day.. just keep the ice water flowing!