Flutters, hunger and maternity pants

Flutters Away!

A couple evenings ago I was laying on the couch when all of a sudden, I had a fluttering feeling in my lower abdomen. It wasn't gas (trust me I would have known if it was), I wasn't hungry, didn't have an upset stomach.... then it happened again. My eyes bulged out of my head at what I think was and am pretty sure since I get them regularly now our babe moving around and sending a tactile hello via the womb. The emotions were similar to seeing our babe, gummy bearish on the screen for the first time. Our baby making moves as to let me know he/she is there moving around, enjoying "womb service" and just taking it's sweet time growing and getting ready to greet us this fall....  makes MY heart flutter.

Cravings, so far....

For the most part, my cravings have been pretty tame but healthy. Strawberries were all I could think of for a week. Pasta is the constant craving, unless sub consciously I just love pasta and my body is using pregnancy as an excuse to eat it regularly. Let's just say Pasta is a craving... and now ... chocolate. I was at lunch with a dear friend Jennifer (who I think is 2 cm dilated as I type this very moment) when we discussed our need to eat ice cream while sitting in the sunshine after lunch. We stopped at our local ice cream stop and for the first time in as long as I can remember I ordered a chocolate milk shake. Jen had her ice cream. If it wasn't for the children around us, I probably would have made inappropriate moaning sounds with each sip. It's my new love. Well, chocolate in general (of good quality, not crap chocolate) but since I'm not a human garbage disposal and rather not gain the recommended total weight before my 3rd trimester I shall try my best to space out my indulging. The key word being try. I'm also not sure if this is a common occurrence with pregnancy or if it's just me but I feel like I also have culinary related A.D.D. I want a hotdog (and yes I can eat them so long as they are well cooked, thank you... I checked)... No, I want a peanut butter & jelly sandwich... NO! Wait! A slice of pizza.. No! An orange... just a glass of milk. Every. Day. I guess as long as I'm not eating everything I crave the moment I think of it, I'm alright. Thankfully I haven't had the pleasure of eating anything I consider bizarre or unusual. Yet.

Maternity Pants

So not sexy, with the stretchy belly covering material...... but so frikking comfortable that the woman who invented these.. and yes, I'm going to suggest that this brilliant idea came from a woman..... who ever she is... deserves The Medal of Honor, Nobel Prize... Presidential Pardon (if she was or is incarcerated) just something to show how genius and wonderful she truly is. I salute you kind lady.

"Because Being Nice Matters"

I'm only at 16 weeks and it's quite incredible the amount of insults I've already endured. Most of them are by unknowing or well intentioned people and chances are I've blurted out some blunders in my pre pregnancy time. Who knows. Let me just say this. Me being pregnant doesn't permit you or anyone else to make comments about my size, or allow you to inquire about personal things happening in my uterus.

I was told at 14 weeks after I had a large breakfast mind you that I was "big for 14 weeks". I wanted to respond with something vicious but opted not to since I was in a work environment which leads me to ask this....

Why the hell do I have to watch what I say, when no one else has to? Maybe if I bit your head off you will remember for the rest of your life to proceed with caution when making verbal observations of the pregnant woman in front of you.

Another hilarious thing I encounter pretty much daily is if I know the gender of our babe. If I did, I would have probably told you by now wouldn't I? In addition and maybe it's because I have mucho friends and family who have already birthed babies but I have known for some time that it takes a little while before you can tell if a fetus has a P or a V. If my doctor hasn't told me yet, then no, I don't know. I lack X Ray vision (which would be harmful to my babe if I did) and my crystal ball is currently broken so I'm at the mercy of time. Please forgive me. The moment I know my babes genitalia I will order a plane and have it fly around with a large banner.

There are a few people who I allow passes to, in other words people I won't want to kill for any comment they make for the most part. I can count them on my one hand. One of course is my mother. I took her to lunch the other day, mainly to appease her sudden need to see me all the time now that I'm pregnant. I love my mom and most of the time, she doesn't drive me nuts... pending the day so I was looking forward to it.

I take her to lunch in my small home town of Waterville. It's a town, 2 or 3 traffic lights max, surrounded by farms and corn fields. During lunch my mother and I are chatting about the baby to be. I should note, and if you know me then you know my mother is Deaf so our conversation is in American Sign Language. Since Waterville is not known for it's diversity in any way except maybe patterns of John Deere overalls the locals wear, it's a safe bet to assume no one in the place knows ASL except for my dear mother and I. Mother asks me how I'm feeling and asks me about my clothes and if I'm feeling ok. I should point out that ASL unlike English doesn't allow for beating around the bush which is perhaps why I prefer to communicate in ASL than English most of the time. I flat out tell my mother that my stomach is popping what feels like more and more each day and that on top of it, I'm at the mercy of my chest.. having to wear supportive sport bras and tanks with support under my clothes just to be comfortable.

To this my mother places her hands in front of her own chest, make the sign for growing breasts and points to me while looking at MY chest and yells.. yes YELLS the one word she has always been to pronounce so eloquently...

"SHIT!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone looks over in our direction. My mother is laughing with her head down and I raise my water glass and say "Cheers!" to smiling faces who realize that we are having a nice time (and maybe too that I am capable of hearing them talk so best keep their comments to themselves).

So unless you are my mother or one of the other few who have a pass... and if you are not sure if you are one of them, chances are ... you aren't..... Be kind and thoughtful when making your comments because chances are I can find something to say about you as well.

Cheers!!

Pre Prego Confessions

4/22/14



As we approach our 15 weeks, I can say that I officially feel, look and think 100% like a pregnant woman. I also have to make a confession.

Back in the not so far back day until long ago, I was one of those (non prego) women who would listen to a pregnant woman go on and on and on about their pregnancy/baby growth and initially would listen and be engaged and happy. After listening to the stories time and time again, I admit that I would be dying inside. After rolling my eyes (to myself), I would think (to myself) "You are NOT the first pregnant person on the planet!!"..."Oh my god please stop!" ...... "Holy Crap when are you going to give birth so my misery ends"...... and many other no so pleasant thoughts. For that I apologize but at the time, that was me.

I totally get it now. I have become that person and for those of you who aren't there yet, I apologize. If you decide to have kids I hope you learn to understand at that time and forgive me. For my people that do not plan on having children, again, I'm sorry. It's just a mentally, physically, life consuming thing I'm dealing with right now. My entire body, mind, spirit, cell, physical ability, appetite, digestive system, sleeping pattern, etc etc etc ...every inch of my being and life is consumed by this person growing inside of me. If my stories or babyness is too much for you right now... I will understand if you need to take some space until my mind and body is once again or at least partially of my own in the future. I also promise to never scorn or roll my eyes (internally) at another maternity/baby story ever again in my entire life (unless I just don't like you in which case, chances are I won't be around you... but you never know).


Thank you to my friends and family who have been so comforting, supportive and loving, regardless if you are rolling your eyes at me or not.

Next appointment: April 30th! Our 16 week appointment!

Love,

Us.

12 week sonogram/nuchal translucency screening

We are already at our 12 weeks! With that comes our 2nd trip to the doctor for a sonogram (thankfully from the outside, on the stomach) and nuchal translucency screening. As I was told and as it seems to be true, as I near the end of my first trimester I finally feel energetic... yesterday I was almost to the point of being hyper active, which I think was more influenced knowing we were going to see our babe again. It could have been the sweet cinnamon rolls we made in the waffle iron (that's right, you read me right) topped with that sugary glaze. Regardless, I am alive once again.

The sonogram was beyond exciting. As I laid on the table with the technician scrolling over my lower abdomen with the whatever you call it, caked in hot goo... came a shape on the screen of a teeny human head... a human body and all 4 limbs. With every moment she put pressure on my belly, the baby kicked it's legs up as if to say "Uhhh, do ya mind?". Of course I balled.

Speaking with our Doc, we learned that not only was my blood work fine but the reading of the sonogram/nuchal put our babe in the low risk category. What I thought was funny was that the Doctor informed me that I, ME was the high risk because ... get this... of my "advanced maternal age".... I raised my fist in jest and gritted my teeth through a smile but also knew this was just part of the procedure and schpeel when they have a prego woman who is of the (young and fabulous) age of 35 before them.

The realities of being 35 can present some risk factors genetically speaking and Joe and I were privy to a chromosomal lesson yesterday. I could feel Joe rolling his eyes as he sat slightly behind me in the chair behind the table as the words flowed in one ear and out the other. Don't get me wrong. Joe is incredibly savvy when it comes to numbers and he could sell a rain jacket to a person who lived in the Sahara Desert. Listening to a lesson on how and when chromosomes divide and the percentage rates of women with complications as their age rises? Not so much his forte.

Prior to this appointment, Joe and I made the decision that in no way unless deemed absolutely necessary (something indicated there was something SERIOUS with our babe) would we go through any invasive testing. Amniocentesis, CVS (Chorionic villus sampling) both have a slight miscarriage rate and that just didn't seem ok with me. In addition, let's say we found out our child had Down Syndrome or any other disability... we wouldn't terminate, so... what's the point? I did happen to find out that a blood screening was available, MaterniT21 that screened for the same things as the Amnio and CVS. Call me crazy, but blood drawn compared to either a massive needle in my side (near the baby) or a part of my cervix removed seems to be the optimal choice.

Considering our low risk label for the babe, our blood work on the good and the facial expression from the Doctor that basically said "Fuck it"... we feel comfortable moving onward and upward. The last thing we need to do is put ourselves through more testing than necessary. Onward to the second trimester!!

xoxoxo

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This....

They say you have strange dreams while being pregnant. Here are some dreams/nightmares I've endured throughout the first trimester of my pregnancy:


*
In an urban hospital somewhere on a sunny day, Joe and I race to the hospital and I give birth to a baby girl. Immediately, the infant is rushed out to the maternity wing but the hospital is like a city itself, almost like a mall with no clear directions, multiple stairs, hallways, elevators and no one around to assist you. Joe and I frantically start running to find her (I in my gown, just given birth) and cannot find the maternity wing. Joe become distracted with a loud roar from an audience and finds a door to a theater that is showing The Letterman Show and decides to pop in to watch. I take off furious, alone, frantic in search of our child.... and then wake up.

*
I was attempting to sit on a park bench one nice sunny day. My stomach had grown quite large. Unfortunately, so did my ass and I couldn't sit down. I was quite upset.

*
A Hearing, non ASL fluent person tried telling me that I should not use ASL (an actual language) to teach my infant language but should use Baby Sign Language (not a language) and I flipped out. Who that person was has yet to be identified.

*
Joe and I were dressed up to try out a new restaurant. He had a dark suit on, blue shirt, light blue tie on. I had a white sleeveless top, zipped up the back, white cardigan with pearl like buttons and a knee length black layered skirt, black stockings and black heels. While waiting in line for our reservations, a woman (who resembled a contestant from last seasons The Taste) approached me and lifted up the back of my skirt. I turned around and grabbed her by her shoulders and shoved her as hard as I possible could. Naturally, this would cause a stir, but it didn't. People carried on. I told Joe who didn't bat an eyelash that I was going to walk away. Upon returning a short time after, he's gone. He's not at a table. Fidgeting with my phone which wasn't operating properly, I find a text from him that since he had a busy day, he wanted to stop at Verizon to upgrade our phones and that he would meet me home. Angry, alone and somehow now shoe less, I walked over to the bar area, sat down and ordered a drink and proceeded to light up a Marlboro Red cigarette I bummed from a guy who looked like Rodney Dangerfield in a hawaiian shirt.

*

Running through a field, sunny day, tall grass and flowers being chased by a lion. The lion, who thankfully turned out to be friendly.. pounced on me and just hugged me. I was terrified but safe.

*

I can't remember details of this dream but it was something similar to the movie Aliens when the creature came out of the stomach through the clothes. I'm kind of glad I don't remember much of this.

*

Stay tuned for more! (I am bracing myself) Sweet dreams! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz