Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Fly Your Plane and Never Trust a Fart... Words of Wisdom....
One thing I've noticed is that when you divulge to any woman, regardless if it is a friend, family member, neighbor, acquaintance, random woman in the check out line that you are pregnant it is customary for any woman who has a child (albeit born to them, via surrogate, adoption, etc) to give you ample advice and warnings while telling their "How I became a Mother" story. It's almost like having conceived life and the impending motherhood label I will be donning has automatically enrolled me in an elite club, where membership is really the ultimate sacrifice of you body, time, shoe budget and single social life... and the rewards, seeing a part of you, your heart brought into the world encased with a love indescribable.
The fortunate part of waiting until the (fabulous) age of 35 to get pregnant is that I have an abundant and overflowing pool of resources at a text message/call/Skype/Facebook message/Facetime chat or email away. Everyone has an opinion on everything and what makes it worse is that there is a book for everything, from every opinion on the spectrum.
My Aunt posted an article on my Facebook just today about just that. The New Yorker posted this blog :http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2014/03/new-parenting-study-released.html
It discussed that "ape shit" feeling you can get from reading or being told by everyone from every direction what their opinion is, inundated with stories of their children and what you should or shouldn't be doing. I can see myself becoming mentally and emotionally unhinged at people dumping all sorts of unwarranted or unnecessary stories or words of advice in my face. I feel like I'm already swimming in the books I have scattered all over our house, each one marked to the spot I'm currently at, literally juggling 3 books at a time. So, in this exciting time, I bare in mind the need to "check myself"... seriously. I welcome advice, but I don't have to abide it. I have books but I can take it with a grain of salt. This is mine and Joe's journey as parents and no one can write a book or give you advice that compares to the actual experience.
Which brings to mind probably the most sound advice I have gotten so far and the 2 phrases that I will hold close to my heart during this adventure provided by a dear friend over breakfast the other morning. "Michele, You gotta fly your plane" ... which was in reference to staying the course, focusing on "the task at hand" and not being distracted by what is going on around me or by other people...... and the most eloquent yet sound advice yet... "Never trust a fart"... because anything with the word "fart"... is just funny, I don't care who you are.
Next up! Nuchal testing/sonogram on April 2nd!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Meeting Doctor Wallis
3/14/14
First thing on the morning of 2/20, Joe and I began the process of arranging appointments with an OBGYN. This wasn't as easy as it should have been.......
Being self employed and living with and now having a "baby daddy" as an insurance broker has it's perks. One, I don't have to decipher whatever language they use to describe to me in eight paragraphs what could efficiently be said in one what my insurance covers or does not. I also can rely on him, he is my broker after all, to handle any issues I have.
Well, going on the Health Exchange (aka Obamacare) was something we did. It made sense to us. In fact, my premiums went up only a smidge and in fact, I now have the Cadillac of plans. The only problem is, my previous Gyno and many others weren't not taking it. After the 3rd phone call with yet another dead end, I gave the phone to Joe, red faced with the promise that if I had to deal with one more jackass on the line, my hand was going to somehow make it's way through the air waves of the phone and choke out the next asshole who said they would not take my insurance. I'm sorry but here's my rant: How is it legal for doctors or health care providers to deny coverage that is mandated by the government? It's criminal. I pay a premium. Provide the fucking coverage so I can get health care. That's what this whole thing is about, isn't it? The government is more concerned about my coverage than the actual health care industry!?!? Ok, rant over.
Joe, in his Insurance sponsored shining armor, finally found us a doctors group aligned with both University Hospital and Crouse Hospital and we were booked with Dr. Jodi Wallis for Friday 3/14 at 10:00am.
After what felt like an eternity the day of the appointment arrives. As excited as a child on Christmas morning, I was up at 5:30am (as usual these days). I asked Joe that we arrive a bit earlier than our 10:00am appointment because a) I don't do 'on time', I like to be early (and will enjoy that lifestyle until the child is born, thank you very much) and b) I knew we would have paperwork to fill out.
Now, in my entire lifetime I have never used a male Gyno. No disrespect but to me, a male Gyno is like an ASL Interpreter without hands. Sure, you know how the language works and might be very knowledgeable in your field.. but you don't have the equipment to really really know how it all works. Unfortunately this practice is not an all female staff, but since my initial appointment is with Jodi, I will attempt to be as flexible and open (pun not intended) to whomever can provide the best care that me and my growing baby needs.
That being said.....
Joe and I check in with the receptionist and am sitting in the waiting room, perusing the coffee tables littered with Parenting and Pregnancy magazines. Joe, being familiar with my preference for female doctors looks up at a much older gentleman walking out of the back hallway towards the receptionist and whispers to me "I think that's Doctor LongFingers" to which I erupted in laughter. Naturally, the other patients waiting, reception AND the Doctor all look in our direction and while I'm losing it, Joe is as composed as ever, magazine in hand as if nothing is happening. I smack his arm and say through clenched teeth "Oh my GOD! Now that you said that...... if he happens to be the doctor on call on D Day (Delivery Day) our child will be forever delivered by Dr.LongFingers!!!!!"
After what felt like eternity Joe and I are called into the sonogram room (if that is what it is called). To this point, besides the 3 pregnancy tests and my physical symptoms there was no real "evidence" of new life growing inside me. It was almost as if the sono could happen and someone could yell "Oops! False alarm! Go back to life as you knew it, have a nice day!!". Instead what we saw was the perfect little (as the technician stated) "Gummy Bear" of a figure on the screen with the teeniest and slightest pulsing of heartbeat. Now, I had some ideas about how I would react while having this test done. I mean, there's nothing glamorous about it. I'm on bed, half naked with a scratchy piece of paper over my legs and my socks showing with a plastic covered wand device up there..... while Joe is sitting casually in the chair next to me like he's about to whip out the daily paper and a woman I have never met is telling me all the body parts of a being that happens to be inside me that I'm just getting accustomed to knowing is there. No book or persons narrative prepares you to how awesome of a moment that is... and yes, I did cry. How could you not. It's the "Holy shit I'm going to be a mother!" moment of all time.
Our meeting with the Doctor after went very well and I like her very much, THANK GOD. After a thorough exam (to Joe's relief I released him to the waiting room), questions, 9 vials of blood and a high 5 with the nurse as I left we learned that "officially" I was at 9 weeks and 3 days with an expected due date of October 14th, 2014 :) One appointment down, 576 to go.
First thing on the morning of 2/20, Joe and I began the process of arranging appointments with an OBGYN. This wasn't as easy as it should have been.......
Being self employed and living with and now having a "baby daddy" as an insurance broker has it's perks. One, I don't have to decipher whatever language they use to describe to me in eight paragraphs what could efficiently be said in one what my insurance covers or does not. I also can rely on him, he is my broker after all, to handle any issues I have.
Well, going on the Health Exchange (aka Obamacare) was something we did. It made sense to us. In fact, my premiums went up only a smidge and in fact, I now have the Cadillac of plans. The only problem is, my previous Gyno and many others weren't not taking it. After the 3rd phone call with yet another dead end, I gave the phone to Joe, red faced with the promise that if I had to deal with one more jackass on the line, my hand was going to somehow make it's way through the air waves of the phone and choke out the next asshole who said they would not take my insurance. I'm sorry but here's my rant: How is it legal for doctors or health care providers to deny coverage that is mandated by the government? It's criminal. I pay a premium. Provide the fucking coverage so I can get health care. That's what this whole thing is about, isn't it? The government is more concerned about my coverage than the actual health care industry!?!? Ok, rant over.
Joe, in his Insurance sponsored shining armor, finally found us a doctors group aligned with both University Hospital and Crouse Hospital and we were booked with Dr. Jodi Wallis for Friday 3/14 at 10:00am.
After what felt like an eternity the day of the appointment arrives. As excited as a child on Christmas morning, I was up at 5:30am (as usual these days). I asked Joe that we arrive a bit earlier than our 10:00am appointment because a) I don't do 'on time', I like to be early (and will enjoy that lifestyle until the child is born, thank you very much) and b) I knew we would have paperwork to fill out.
Now, in my entire lifetime I have never used a male Gyno. No disrespect but to me, a male Gyno is like an ASL Interpreter without hands. Sure, you know how the language works and might be very knowledgeable in your field.. but you don't have the equipment to really really know how it all works. Unfortunately this practice is not an all female staff, but since my initial appointment is with Jodi, I will attempt to be as flexible and open (pun not intended) to whomever can provide the best care that me and my growing baby needs.
That being said.....
Joe and I check in with the receptionist and am sitting in the waiting room, perusing the coffee tables littered with Parenting and Pregnancy magazines. Joe, being familiar with my preference for female doctors looks up at a much older gentleman walking out of the back hallway towards the receptionist and whispers to me "I think that's Doctor LongFingers" to which I erupted in laughter. Naturally, the other patients waiting, reception AND the Doctor all look in our direction and while I'm losing it, Joe is as composed as ever, magazine in hand as if nothing is happening. I smack his arm and say through clenched teeth "Oh my GOD! Now that you said that...... if he happens to be the doctor on call on D Day (Delivery Day) our child will be forever delivered by Dr.LongFingers!!!!!"
After what felt like eternity Joe and I are called into the sonogram room (if that is what it is called). To this point, besides the 3 pregnancy tests and my physical symptoms there was no real "evidence" of new life growing inside me. It was almost as if the sono could happen and someone could yell "Oops! False alarm! Go back to life as you knew it, have a nice day!!". Instead what we saw was the perfect little (as the technician stated) "Gummy Bear" of a figure on the screen with the teeniest and slightest pulsing of heartbeat. Now, I had some ideas about how I would react while having this test done. I mean, there's nothing glamorous about it. I'm on bed, half naked with a scratchy piece of paper over my legs and my socks showing with a plastic covered wand device up there..... while Joe is sitting casually in the chair next to me like he's about to whip out the daily paper and a woman I have never met is telling me all the body parts of a being that happens to be inside me that I'm just getting accustomed to knowing is there. No book or persons narrative prepares you to how awesome of a moment that is... and yes, I did cry. How could you not. It's the "Holy shit I'm going to be a mother!" moment of all time.
Our meeting with the Doctor after went very well and I like her very much, THANK GOD. After a thorough exam (to Joe's relief I released him to the waiting room), questions, 9 vials of blood and a high 5 with the nurse as I left we learned that "officially" I was at 9 weeks and 3 days with an expected due date of October 14th, 2014 :) One appointment down, 576 to go.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Sooo, now what?
2/22/14
Our appointment is booked for March 14th!!! So... what the hell do I do until then........
It took less than 24 hours for me to start acquiring the necessary reading material for our new adventure. I ordered What to Expect.... online, a book on nutrition, a "Girlfriends" guide to pregnancy, what the doctor won't tell you but your girlfriends will (happens to be my favorite right now) and a medical book regarding labor and child birth.
I'm already freaked out.
It only took a mere chapter in the nutrition book to read what would happen or not happen to our growing baby if I didn't get certain nutrients. It's horrifying. If it wasn't for the fact that I have been taking pre natal vitamins for some time (and I'm healthy overall) I'd probably start faking a major event/illness/heart attack, anything that would throw me in the hands of a care taker who would assure me that everything is and will be ok. I get why they have to tell you the bad stuff but man alive, it isn't helping my over working/paranoid brain.
Last night Joe and I decided to have a night out which pre-prego meant pre dinner drinks, dinner, post dinner drinks then home some time after midnight. Last night was straight to dinner for our reservation at 7:30 (thankfully I napped before hand), dinner which took more time than expected, home by 10:00pm and in bed snoring by 10:30pm.
It was nice to actually get out. What I thought were the winter blahs lately and my incessant need to lay down and nap apparently has nothing to do with winter and everything to do with the progesterone levels rising in my body (see? reading already). The only going out that has appealed to me lately was either work or a trip to Wegmans if we needed. Now I know why.
Over the course of dinner, the baby managed to dominate most of conversation. We discussed names.
Joe: "What do you think of the name Adolf?"
Me: "Absolutely not."
Joe: "Really? Why not?" (With a shit grin on his face)
Me: "I do not have enough time this evening to give you all the reasons why that is not happening." (Look of death to Joe)
We discussed birthing methods:
Me: (Trying to not laugh while I say this with the most serious inquisitive look I could muster) "Hey honey, what do you think about me having a water birth, in a kiddie pool, in the middle of the family room and we invite all our friends and family over?"
Joe: (Massive look of disgust) "Are you serious?"
Me: "Not even a little, but your facial expression was worth asking."
We discussed Lamaze classes:
Me: "You realize that you are in fact going with me to these?"
Joe: "Can't I find a sub to do that?" (shit grin on his face)
Me: "I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. I'm the mother of your child (A phrase I feel I will be using often)."
We discussed labor and the big event:
Me: "Do you see yourself as the cutting the cord kind of Dad?"
Joe: "I think I'll probably stay by your head." (With a look of trepidation)
Me: "Do you think you would pass out?"
Joe: "Yeah. Yeah I do."
We discussed babies in general:
Joe: "I'm scared. I've never held a baby before."
Me: "Seriously??? How have you never held a baby before." (Seriously, there's TONS of children in his family/or friends children).
Joe promised he would help with diapers. I vowed (with both fingers crossed) to be one of those fabulous pregnant women who managed to still dress up here and there (obviously we'll see) but still kept it cozy in sweats at home. We promised each other to try to be the best parents we could be but to also be a team. I made him promise to not take me seriously when I am overwhelmed and over emotional at times and to be my rock. He convinced me that we should find out the gender when we can.
It's been a matter of 2 days with this knowledge and I already feel like a different person. A better person to be honest. Shifting priorities, being consumed with the idea of being a mother and the million things I want to do (baby room, crafts, how we announce to the family, etc) that the trivial stuff I mentally hoarded just seemed to dissipate. It almost doesn't seem real. If it's not, please don't pinch me awake.
♥
Our appointment is booked for March 14th!!! So... what the hell do I do until then........
It took less than 24 hours for me to start acquiring the necessary reading material for our new adventure. I ordered What to Expect.... online, a book on nutrition, a "Girlfriends" guide to pregnancy, what the doctor won't tell you but your girlfriends will (happens to be my favorite right now) and a medical book regarding labor and child birth.
I'm already freaked out.
It only took a mere chapter in the nutrition book to read what would happen or not happen to our growing baby if I didn't get certain nutrients. It's horrifying. If it wasn't for the fact that I have been taking pre natal vitamins for some time (and I'm healthy overall) I'd probably start faking a major event/illness/heart attack, anything that would throw me in the hands of a care taker who would assure me that everything is and will be ok. I get why they have to tell you the bad stuff but man alive, it isn't helping my over working/paranoid brain.
Last night Joe and I decided to have a night out which pre-prego meant pre dinner drinks, dinner, post dinner drinks then home some time after midnight. Last night was straight to dinner for our reservation at 7:30 (thankfully I napped before hand), dinner which took more time than expected, home by 10:00pm and in bed snoring by 10:30pm.
It was nice to actually get out. What I thought were the winter blahs lately and my incessant need to lay down and nap apparently has nothing to do with winter and everything to do with the progesterone levels rising in my body (see? reading already). The only going out that has appealed to me lately was either work or a trip to Wegmans if we needed. Now I know why.
Over the course of dinner, the baby managed to dominate most of conversation. We discussed names.
Joe: "What do you think of the name Adolf?"
Me: "Absolutely not."
Joe: "Really? Why not?" (With a shit grin on his face)
Me: "I do not have enough time this evening to give you all the reasons why that is not happening." (Look of death to Joe)
We discussed birthing methods:
Me: (Trying to not laugh while I say this with the most serious inquisitive look I could muster) "Hey honey, what do you think about me having a water birth, in a kiddie pool, in the middle of the family room and we invite all our friends and family over?"
Joe: (Massive look of disgust) "Are you serious?"
Me: "Not even a little, but your facial expression was worth asking."
We discussed Lamaze classes:
Me: "You realize that you are in fact going with me to these?"
Joe: "Can't I find a sub to do that?" (shit grin on his face)
Me: "I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. I'm the mother of your child (A phrase I feel I will be using often)."
We discussed labor and the big event:
Me: "Do you see yourself as the cutting the cord kind of Dad?"
Joe: "I think I'll probably stay by your head." (With a look of trepidation)
Me: "Do you think you would pass out?"
Joe: "Yeah. Yeah I do."
We discussed babies in general:
Joe: "I'm scared. I've never held a baby before."
Me: "Seriously??? How have you never held a baby before." (Seriously, there's TONS of children in his family/or friends children).
Joe promised he would help with diapers. I vowed (with both fingers crossed) to be one of those fabulous pregnant women who managed to still dress up here and there (obviously we'll see) but still kept it cozy in sweats at home. We promised each other to try to be the best parents we could be but to also be a team. I made him promise to not take me seriously when I am overwhelmed and over emotional at times and to be my rock. He convinced me that we should find out the gender when we can.
It's been a matter of 2 days with this knowledge and I already feel like a different person. A better person to be honest. Shifting priorities, being consumed with the idea of being a mother and the million things I want to do (baby room, crafts, how we announce to the family, etc) that the trivial stuff I mentally hoarded just seemed to dissipate. It almost doesn't seem real. If it's not, please don't pinch me awake.
♥
I'm Running To The Store
2/20/14
My life is a series of incidents that fall under what people would call "Murphy's Law". If I'm running late, which is rare and usually throws me into a fit of anxiety, I always get stuck behind a school bus, a 357 year old driver or something like a UPS or garbage truck making numerous spots. If I have ample time and am heading somewhere early not only is there zero traffic but I can always find a parking spot, usually very close to the doors and I'm the first on arrival. There are numerous examples that I could demonstrate but I simply rather move on.
Well, evidently becoming pregnant also falls under the line of M.L experiences. There have been numerous times when Joe and I waited in wonder for either my cycle or something, eagle focused on the issue, constantly talking about it and spending numerous trips to the store and money on pregnancy tests only to find out my cycle was in wait like the southern wind before winding up into a tornado ripping out one lonely farm house at a time.
So this month as the expected cycle "start time" came and went we just looked at each other and said "Eh, let's just wait awhile. This always happens." Even my dear friend Melanie (Prego/Baby Yoda) said "this happens to you all the time" validating my response to put the car keys down, put the wallet away, remove the jacket and return to the couch with my kindle.... and then there's that moment as I have heard many a women say "When you Know".... which was last night.
My work assignment was cut short so I was home enthralled in a book (Unbroken, Lauren Hillenbrand) cudling on the couch with Winnie (our sweet dog) when I realized that on top of being late for my cycle (and I'm sorry I hate the word period. I use cycle. That's what I'm using here) my boobs were not only ginormous but beyond sore. Moving, walking too fast and a light brush and I would look down as if someone was stabbing them with a knife. I was also getting these weird cramp like sensations and bloating which wanted to feel like menstruation cramps but weren't. Something different was happening. Joe and I discussed going through the test routine in a couple days but I realized at that moment, I was pretty sure I was in fact pregnant and I needed to know 5 minutes before I had this realization.
Joe had gone off to meet some friends briefly after work so I called him to tell him I was going to the store. His request? To wait for him to take the test. Shoot me now. It should be apparent by now that I have little to no patience. To be home with the test by 5:45pm and not being able to take it until 7:20 pretty much aged me a couple years.
I had bought the early detection EPT test. The one where you look for the cross in the circle. Our results? To Joe, inconclusive because it was only a faint line crossing the other line. Upon consulting with my friend Melanie via pictures and Google images I was certain that we were with child. Joe asked me "Why wouldn't you buy the one that says "Pregnant" "Not Pregnant" and grabs his jacket to purchase such tests. Returning with his preferred test, another dip in the cup supported my initial conclusion. We are pregnant.
Now, I'm sure this will be asked as I've heard many people ask other Pregos. "Did you plan it?" Etc. All I can say is that we weren't planning or weren't attempting to really prevent it. So I guess we were in a way, right? I mean if you do not want to have a child, then you take measures to make sure it doesn't happen. It's not rocket science. At 35, Joe at 34 we have talked about age, time, resources and for all we have been through and how strong our relationship is now and where we are in life in general just seems like the right next step in our lives.
By Melanie's calculation, like I said, Yoda... I am about 6 weeks and 3 days with the possible expected birth day of October 14th.
Let the journey begin :) ♥
My life is a series of incidents that fall under what people would call "Murphy's Law". If I'm running late, which is rare and usually throws me into a fit of anxiety, I always get stuck behind a school bus, a 357 year old driver or something like a UPS or garbage truck making numerous spots. If I have ample time and am heading somewhere early not only is there zero traffic but I can always find a parking spot, usually very close to the doors and I'm the first on arrival. There are numerous examples that I could demonstrate but I simply rather move on.
Well, evidently becoming pregnant also falls under the line of M.L experiences. There have been numerous times when Joe and I waited in wonder for either my cycle or something, eagle focused on the issue, constantly talking about it and spending numerous trips to the store and money on pregnancy tests only to find out my cycle was in wait like the southern wind before winding up into a tornado ripping out one lonely farm house at a time.
So this month as the expected cycle "start time" came and went we just looked at each other and said "Eh, let's just wait awhile. This always happens." Even my dear friend Melanie (Prego/Baby Yoda) said "this happens to you all the time" validating my response to put the car keys down, put the wallet away, remove the jacket and return to the couch with my kindle.... and then there's that moment as I have heard many a women say "When you Know".... which was last night.
My work assignment was cut short so I was home enthralled in a book (Unbroken, Lauren Hillenbrand) cudling on the couch with Winnie (our sweet dog) when I realized that on top of being late for my cycle (and I'm sorry I hate the word period. I use cycle. That's what I'm using here) my boobs were not only ginormous but beyond sore. Moving, walking too fast and a light brush and I would look down as if someone was stabbing them with a knife. I was also getting these weird cramp like sensations and bloating which wanted to feel like menstruation cramps but weren't. Something different was happening. Joe and I discussed going through the test routine in a couple days but I realized at that moment, I was pretty sure I was in fact pregnant and I needed to know 5 minutes before I had this realization.
Joe had gone off to meet some friends briefly after work so I called him to tell him I was going to the store. His request? To wait for him to take the test. Shoot me now. It should be apparent by now that I have little to no patience. To be home with the test by 5:45pm and not being able to take it until 7:20 pretty much aged me a couple years.
I had bought the early detection EPT test. The one where you look for the cross in the circle. Our results? To Joe, inconclusive because it was only a faint line crossing the other line. Upon consulting with my friend Melanie via pictures and Google images I was certain that we were with child. Joe asked me "Why wouldn't you buy the one that says "Pregnant" "Not Pregnant" and grabs his jacket to purchase such tests. Returning with his preferred test, another dip in the cup supported my initial conclusion. We are pregnant.
Now, I'm sure this will be asked as I've heard many people ask other Pregos. "Did you plan it?" Etc. All I can say is that we weren't planning or weren't attempting to really prevent it. So I guess we were in a way, right? I mean if you do not want to have a child, then you take measures to make sure it doesn't happen. It's not rocket science. At 35, Joe at 34 we have talked about age, time, resources and for all we have been through and how strong our relationship is now and where we are in life in general just seems like the right next step in our lives.
By Melanie's calculation, like I said, Yoda... I am about 6 weeks and 3 days with the possible expected birth day of October 14th.
Let the journey begin :) ♥
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)