The Baby Registry

I remember the first time I shopped at Babys R US for a baby registry. Actually, I remember the feeling of having shopped there for the first time and remember going for drinks immediately after. Because of that (the drinks) I cannot recall exactly who I shopped for but I remember feeling overwhelmed and shell shocked at the enormity of the store and the ridiculous things that a new little human being "needs". For me, it was stepping into foreign territory. Carefully going down each isle, checking the printed sheet for what the baby de jour was in need of in a sea of pinks, greens and blues and pictures of happy babes... their eyes following me where ever I went. I think that visit was one (of a few) reason(s) why I took great care in making sure I would not become pregnant until I was good and ready to do so. Thank you Michele! You are welcome, Michele!

Through out the years, I have attended numerous showers and there were even some I couldn't make it to. I say this with love and nothing but respect and adoration for the women who so thoughtfully invited me to be a part of a special event in their lives but I gotta be honest, I was never a big fan of the shower. Wine usually helped and it helped even more when I was drinking said wine with a fellow friend who like me was not interested in reproducing at all, what so ever. At 35 and only just some what recently coming down with baby fever, I have a bevy of lady friends who started pumping out their brood in their early 20's. Having no child, surrounded by people who had children and only talked about children then asked when you were going to have children or find a man to have children with simply wasn't a good time for me. The unwrapping of every.... single.... present.... with the ohhhs and the ahhhs... would only make me and if I was lucky, the only other non baby having friend there make eye contact, pour more wine in our glasses and exchange "that smile" (untranslatable and/or unnoticeable to anyone on baby island).... and now, ALAS.. it is my turn and I couldn't be more excited to cash in my ticket and head on over to that very island myself.

I was told by a few ladies to leave Joe home and do the registry by myself. Uh, Hi, have you met Joe? Leaving him home was never an option, for him anyways. It wasn't until he hogged the scanner for the entire visit that I almost wished I had left him home but to be honest, I probably would have dropped the scanner, booklet and complimentary bottle of water and ran for my life half way through the registry had he not been there. Joe said he wanted a part in what we were choosing for our daughter... and how does your heart not melt when the father of your unborn child says something like that to you. Honestly.

We arrive on a Sunday (we were excused from our usual Sunday dinner obligations) about Noonish and the store was I'd say "medium busy". The moment we walked in, Joe looked around and said "Wow, I didn't realize the store was this big!" Naturally I laugh at him because it was obvious at this point he had no idea what he was getting himself into. We sit at the desk with an associate to which Joe immediately starts charming "Hey, how are ya... and how are you doing today?" After I get the paperwork and allow them to become new friends, Joe snags the scanner leaving me to hold the booklet and pen and off we go. I had only told him I was looking forward to scanning items while making "pew pew" sounds about 50 times prior to our visit but apparently he had other plans for us. This actually worked out in my favor though. I had "THE LIST" and simply dictated what we needed and the scanner kept him occupied.

We started with the simple items first, the bedroom stuff and worked our way over to the most ridiculous wall of bottles and the other 400,000 random small items that apparently our child will need mental health therapy for should we not add them to our list. We made out (not literally) fairly well but after circling the store 3 times I was over it. My feet started to ache, I was getting hungry (which turns to hangry rather quick) and I just had enough. I need to step away, regroup, drink water, sit down and breathe my headache away. I asked Joe a few times "Ok, I think we are set, how about we go now?" Eventually he caved and we left. Thankfully he provided much needed comic relief (especially around the car seat and stroller isles) so I had no choice but to buy him dinner and a couple beers. Hell, I would have had a couple beers if weren't for that whole Fetal Alcohol thing.. but then again, this is the visit I rather remember most :) Registry? CHECK!